I’ve always been so glad God made me a girl. I can’t even imagine hair loss after 30 or being expected to innately handle a drill gun. But of all the reasons to love being a woman- the thrill of carrying babies, the joy of wearing boot heels, sniffling our way out of speeding tickets- the blessing I’ve been most aware of lately, is the deep kind of friendship women tend to share, because, well, we need it most.
I have always been extremely grateful for the amount of wonderful women in my life, and for the level of depth I’ve been blessed to have, in my friendships. But lately it’s all I can think about, as I’ve watched not one, but three of my best friends get married, ironically all within the last month. With each last “single friend” hug before they skip down the aisle towards a new adventure, two things have come to mind: God is faithful. And friends are the treasure of life.
The level of support and love I’ve received from friends, including an amazing mother and two sisters, has been such undeniable proof of God’s faithfulness and provision for me. Like so many of us, I’ve gone through loss and a fair amount heartache, that God has been able to diffuse, soften and sustain me through, with the unfaltering support of friends.
When I think of the tough and admittedly scary things we all go through- which for me have included a very lonely and stressful former marriage – it was first Jesus, and second, friends that got me through on a daily, if not hourly basis. Even though so many of my mistakes and hardships have been self – imposed, God has been so gracious in ensuring I’ve never once experienced what it feels like to go through one ounce of sadness, fear or confusion by myself, because I’ve always had at least six dear friends, right there on the other side of the phone or doorstep, praying, checking in, and providing constant comedic relief like texting an avocado emoji during tough times because they know for reason, guac makes my heart sing. (I dunno).
Seriously though. What would we do without that friend running over after a job layoff to assure us that despite the grim appearance of reality, our future will sparkle? What would we do without that apprehensive friend instantly cyber stalking that guy we just met with the “tasteful” neck tattoo, and consequently vowing to kibosh all shoe borrowing if you actually date him? How could we make it without those rare best friends who feel no moral conflict when staring straight into our eyes reassuring us the skirt’s just tight because European brands run small, and that first gray hair is surely just a side effect of switching vitamins?
And for those of us a bit farther along in life, close friendships only become more beautiful and meaningful, as we journey alongside each other through relationships, marriages, motherhood, and the painful things like divorce, health crisis and general life hardships. There’s something about looking back at decades of friendship that began dancing around the room after scoring our first “real” job, post-college, to holding each other’s babies, in mutual reassurance that we’ll be stellar moms despite the fact that we can’t keep a cactus alive. We’ve celebrated the joy of decorating our first houses without our mother’s help, and prayed each other through bouts of anxiety and sadness, when fear and lies from the enemy have come our way.
Truly. Friends are the backbone of life.
So it was these thoughts and emotions left swirling through my head, as I watched my best friend, and soul sister Lindsay, strut down that aisle this weekend towards her new life, and frankly, I thought I’d do better. I had a year to emotionally prepare, but it took everything sans horse tranquilizers to remain composed.
I never like to compare or rate the level of closeness to any friend, because each adds unique blessings and strengths to our life, but I do believe certain relationships are hand crafted by God because he knew we’d need each other in a special ways. For Linds and I, the bond goes way beyond cousin-hood and shared suffering from the same procrastination that leaves us perpetually shipping overnight because heaven forbid we stop at the post office. It’s of course comforting to have a friend who always understands, and never bats an eye when receiving her birthday card a solid month late, or when witnessing you painting your toenails on overdue bill notices. But with those rare close friends, it goes so much deeper.
Like each of our best friends, Linds has been a never ending source of comfort, laughter and joy…aaaaaand her cyber stalking skills are CIA-quality, once again confirming God’s faithfulness to me. She’s been my go-to for everything from fashion advice, receiving so many selfies through the years…”Is this romper age appropriate?!” to the first person I go to for prayer and advice on inner healing. She’s been the rock of my life, and a consistent bright spot on a life journey that makes roller coasters seem like a neighborhood stroll.
Cheers to the gift of friendship, and cheers to you, Linds. Couldn’t have made it through a single misadventure without you. Thank God I didn’t have to.