Have you ever been in a season or circumstance where you felt so weighed down by your own failures that you find it hard to even pray? Like it’s hard to even listen to yourself beg and wallow through yet another hardship or failure because you feel to blame, or pathetic for setting your life on fire…again?

There are so many benefits that come with age. We now recognize Crocs as the official footwear of Satan instead of an ugly trend; we can spot a narcissistic gent in a Disney crowd of thousands, AND we have a smidge more hard-earned wisdom born by years of mistakes. However, the bittersweet downside to getting older, at least for me, is feeling an increased amount of shame and disappointment when going through yet another hard season…because…shouldn’t we have learned by now?!

Whether failing financially or at your job, or in parenting, or in your romantic relationship, I get it. It can feel completely hopeless if we listen to the voice of the enemy and allow fear and shame to creep in.

Thankfully, there are so many scriptures abolishing the false narrative that we’ve screwed it up too badly, or that it’s too late to get it right. The number one truth I hold onto when feeling particularly crushed is this: God still created me, despite of me.

According to Psalm 139:16, God knew the entirety of our lives before breathing life onto Earth, He knew the day you’d be born, the day you’ll pass away, and every single laugh, cry, victory and mistake you’ll make in between.

This includes every splinter of pain we endure, every scary season we walk though, and every sin we return to after swearing we never would. It includes every lie we tell, every way we neglect friends or loved ones and every willful act of disobedience we commit without a hint of remorse. He knew of the exact hard thing you’re facing right now, and He’s not the least bit taken aback.

This can feel SO hard to believe at times, since we often view our hardships through the lens of our limited understanding instead of God’s. He never wants us to screw up, or endure suffering, but according to Romans 3:23, it’s impossible to not to fall and fail, this side of heaven. So, although His will is for us to always choose rightly and live righteously, He’s also not mad, accusatory or unempathetic when we do find ourselves begging for help and mercy once again.

If you’re going through it right now, whatever it is- a health crisis, a divorce, grieving over a wayward child, making another colossally bad decision…try and always remember that God knew this would happen. God knew you’d choose the wrong partner…again. He knew you’d ignore your health until a diagnosis set you straight and he knew it would take 10 (say it with me TEN) financial ventures before succeeding at that startup. He knew it would take twenty years of walking with Him to uproot that generationally sown strain of vanity, and He knows right now, you still haven’t completely forsaken that idol in your heart.

Sometimes it takes DECADES of making the same stupid mistakes and returning to the same negative patterns before we grow. That’s why He provides support networks for us, offers unlimited amounts of plan B’s, and pours out endless amounts of grace to get us through.

Never confuse hard seasons with God’s ambivalence or surprise. He’s already planned a way out for you through this valley, and He’s absolutely using every ounce of your pain to refine and prepare you for the goodness ahead. What we perceive as failures and disappointment, He sees as opportunities for redemption.

You’re His idea, and He doesn’t make mistakes. Hold onto Him when you’re feeling hopeless and His dreams for you will 100 percent unfold…even in spite of you. xo

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