Have you ever been minding your own business—sudsing in the shower or doing the dishes—when BAM! Out of nowhere, the most insidious thought invades your mind?
For me, it happens constantly. And usually, it’s the same repeat offenders. These fears are hard to even type, but here goes…
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I’m the common denominator in all of my failed relationships. The reason for every failure—every breakup, every called-off engagement, every divorce—is because I’m just too broken to live with.
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God has blessed me in so many other areas—my career, passions, children, family—that maybe I’ll never experience real love or a happy marriage… because no one really gets “it all.”
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Now that I’m divorced, maybe God wants to keep me single—because I’ll be more useful for the kingdom (helping other divorced, single, or hurting women) if I’m not distracted by a husband.
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If I don’t start dating again soon, I’ll be too old and irrelevant to rope in a man.
Now, a few things about this sociopathic rundown:
I know how ridiculous every one of these fears sounds. And I know they completely contradict God’s character. It never matters in the moment. Because fears are irrational. They’re the enemy’s way of twisting your trauma and insecurities to distort your perspective. And if we’re not careful—if we don’t recognize the source of our fears—we start accepting them as truth.
Here’s the good news:
Every single one of these lies can be combated with Scripture. Every. Single. One.
I’ve never had a fearful thought or painful emotion that didn’t have at least two or three verses standing firmly against it.
But as Jess and I discuss on this week’s Free Failing episode, just knowing that Scripture exists isn’t enough. We need more than a vague, intellectual nod toward biblical truth to fight crippling mom guilt and soul-numbing anxiety.
We need to let God’s Word sink deep—like way down into our souls—before we’ll even begin to believe it on a subconscious level.
That means reading the Word daily. Meditating on it. Writing it down. Repeating it. Reminding ourselves constantly of what’s actually true so that when fear creeps in, we recognize it—and toss it out before it settles in.
And also? Sharing our fears with a trusted friend (preferably a Christian sister if you’re walking in faith) is powerful.
Tune in to this week’s Free Failing episode to hear more about overcoming post-divorce fears. Jess and I open up about our most painful thoughts and share how we’ve learned to reject fear when it comes knocking.
🎥 We’re now on YouTube! Come visit us for some face time—and drop a comment sharing the truth or scripture verse that’s helped you fight fear and reclaim hope. xo
